A Christmas that glorifies Christ

What if we celebrated Christmas like it was all about Christ? Oh wait. It is. Then why does Christ only receive our partial attention during the holiday meant to celebrate his coming? Good question.

Christmas has become to us a part of our culture. Christians and non-Christians alike celebrate, often in ways that are far too similar. As we (followers of Christ) are to be set apart from the world every day of our lives, how much more should we be different on the day we celebrate our Savior's birth? And by different, I mean VERY different. Going to church on Christmas Eve and reading the Christmas story together does not qualify as different. These things are great ways to fix our hearts on Christ and should not be abandoned, but when our minds are on shopping and planning (even while we sit in church), our rituals are not pleasing to God. Does this mean we should totally forgo all of the typical Christmas traditions? Maybe, maybe not. There's nothing wrong with Santa and gift giving and food and decorations, but when Christ becomes merely a side note rather than the center of our Christmas celebration, we have a problem. The problem is primarily in our hearts, our motives, our attitudes.

How can we fix this problem? We need to rethink Christmas. We should look at the way we celebrate and ask ourselves if our celebration pleases the Lord. To get down to the core of the matter, we essentially need to ask ourselves how Jesus wants us to celebrate his coming. Now I have a feeling that if we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that our celebration of Christmas is totally not the way Jesus wants it to be. Take gift giving, for example. The concept of gift giving is totally appropriate for Christmas; as God gave us the gift of his Son, we give gifts at Christmastime. However, gift giving often becomes more of an obligation than a pleasure. That's not how God gave us Jesus. God sent Jesus because he loves us and not because of anything we did to deserve him. God gave this gift to people who wronged him, denied him, hated him (yes, that's us). Maybe Jesus wants us not only to give to those who love us back and can give to us in return, but to people who don't love us back or can't give anything in return. That's what he did. Think about the way most of us have at least one big Christmas meal with extended family. Fellowship is critical, and food is sustenance, but what about the people who don't have family to eat with or even food to eat? Jesus said that we can find him in the hungry, thirsty, naked, and sick, the strangers and prisoners. Maybe we could celebrate the coming of Christ by serving these people with our families. We could make some extra food for Christmas dinner and take it to hungry people. We could clean out our closets (often our old Christmas gifts!) and give clothes to people who need them. You get the idea. Christmas is about CHRIST, not about us.

Christmas edition

I like music. A lot. So when Christmas comes around and I get to bring out another whole collection of music, I get pretty pumped. However, Christmas music serves as so much more for me than a thing to be enjoyed. It reminds me of what we are celebrating at Christmas time. You see, I like Jingle Bells and Frosty, but the Christmas songs that I really love are about the coming of our Savior. So from now until Christmas, I'll be blogging about some of my favorite Christmas songs.

One song that I listened to for the first time this year is by Shane and Shane, and it's called Born to Die. The first and last verses are my favorites:

"When the babe was born.
In a manger on the hay.
God saw a veil torn.
He saw Good Friday.
He was born to die.

We came here today
to celebrate His birth.
But let us not forget
why Jesus came to earth.
He was born to die."

This song kind of reminds me of T.S. Eliot's poem "The Journey of the Magi." The end of the poem goes like this:

"This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I have seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death."

This is way deeper than I can comment on, so take from it what you will. But my point in writing about this song and this poem is to emphasize the fact that Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of Christ, but it's also a time to remember why he came to earth in the first place. He was born to die. For us. The Son of God put on flesh so that we might be reconciled to God. That's pretty amazing stuff. I mean, really. If you're not blown away by the fact that the God of the universe loves you that much, you should be. So in the midst of the Christmas parties and presents and travels, remember and be thankful that the Father sent his Son to earth to live and to die, not because we deserve it, but because He loves us.

semester one [almost] done

This semester, I've come to realize more than ever the bigness of God and the smallness of me. It snowed the other day, and I got really excited, but after I had time for one snowball fight and didn't even get to make a snowman (after about a day), the snow began to melt. I moved to Union in August to begin my first semester in college, and now I'm soon to finish out the semester and head to Birmingham for Christmas break. Good stuff (and bad stuff too) eventually comes to an end. As I am coming to terms with the fact that the stuff of this world--yes, even things that are good and right--ends, I am more and more in awe of my God who has no beginning or end. He is the only eternal good. That means we should seek to invest in what is His (His kingdom, His people) because these things of God are the only things that last.


13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. James 4:13-17.

6 A voice says, “Cry out.” And I said, “What shall I cry?” “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. 7 The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. 8 The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:6-8

no worries

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34

I just read this passage this morning, and it was such a timely reminder. As final exams are soon to come, papers are due, tests are next week, and everything outside of class continues, it is so easy to worry. Easier to worry than to pray and trust. In Philippians, Paul writes not to worry about anything, but to pray about everything. Instead of worrying we should pray, putting our trust in God rather than ourselves. This passage was kind of a slap in the face this morning, like God was saying, "Hello...don't you know that I will take care of you? You don't have to stress. You don't have to be in control, because I am in control. I feed the birds. I clothe the flowers. I made you in my own image. Don't you know that I will take care of you even more?" So to all of you out there who are stressed and worried with life (probably most of you), trust God. Hand it all over to him. Cast your burdens on him, as it says in 1 Peter. The last part of this Matthew passage telling us to seek first his kingdom and righteousness ties it together perfectly. When we are more focused on him and less focused on us, he will take care of all those little things we waste our time thinking about. Think about it, and put your trust in him rather than yourself.

time flies when you’re in college

I thought high school went by fast. Nope. I am almost finished with my first semester of college. It’s kind of one of those, “Who am I, where am I, and what am I doing here?” moments. I feel like it’s been such a short time since Union was only a dream–something I wanted to happen but something that seemed out of reach. Well, I’m here. God worked it all out, and I’m here. I’m so thankful for this place and the fact that I’m in it. God graciously continues to show me why he has led me here. There are so many events and people and thoughts I could write about…I just don’t even know where to start. I think I’ll go backwards from this week.

Wednesday morning we had the most wonderful discussion in Honors. I left feeling giddy. Go ahead and laugh. I’m a nerd. Maybe it was just the coffee…ha. We just started reading through the book of Proverbs–what book would be better in a class called Wisdom??? It’s amazing how much of what I’m reading in Proverbs relates back to the secular sources we have read throughout the semester. I definitely noticed things I had not noticed before. Well, we read Chapters 1-9 for Wednesday morning. Basically, Solomon personifies wisdom and folly as two women. While Solomon personifies folly as an adulterous who seems desirable but is actually deceitful, he personifies wisdom as a woman who is good and right and true and most desirable above all. I think I will blog more about this on another post because I could go pretty deep, but I have more to say here. Be looking for a post on this soon

 Last week, the Honors Community freshmen from Union went to a conference about wisdom in education at Baylor University in Texas. I learned a lot, was confused a lot, spent time with my wonderful honors friends a lot, and returned home with an even greater passion for seeking wisdom than the passion I had before. Look for a later post for more on what I learned about wisdom. However, I will talk here about the fun times we had! First, we drove. In fifteen passenger vans. On the way we split up the trip, but on the way back to Union, we drove about twelve hours from Waco to Jackson. So we rode in close proximity to each other for about twenty-four hours, and it was great fun. Really. We listened to music, sang, danced, had deep discussions (you know we can’t live without those!), and slept. When we finally got to Waco, we spent most of our time at the conference, which I will discuss later, but we also got to just hang out and talk a good bit, which was such a great break from the stress of schoolwork and class. I love the community that God is building among the honors students here!

Whole Bible Study

Hello friends! It has been way too long (again, sorry). I'm on fall break, so I have a little time to just relax and visit with people I haven't seen in FOREVER.

Tonight I had the opportunity to help lead Wade's Bible study at Whole Foods. I'm not really sure who came up with the name "Whole Bible Study," but I like it. It kind of has a double meaning. Of course, it takes place at Whole Foods, so that makes sense, but also, we should look at the Bible as something that is a whole, not just a bunch of books that happen to be combined. The Bible is a living and active text that screams the name of Jesus throughout. The Bible as a whole works together to point to Christ. Also, it's important that we look at the Bible as a whole because God didn't give it to us as a Jesus buffet. We can't just decide we like his salvation and disregard his call to surrender our lives to him. When we look at his whole Word, we realize that he wants us wholly (and holy...ha punny).

As I've said before, I've been memorizing the Book of James. Well, I finished, and I went through the whole thing at Bible study tonight. If you've never memorized longer than a few verses before, I challenge you to pick a passage (or if you've done that, a book) and memorize it. This is not just for the sake of "being spiritual." Knowing God's Word is powerful. When you really know it and meditate on it, the Holy Spirit brings it to mind when you need it. I definitely challenge you to do more than memorize, though. When you learn Scripture, think about what it means as you learn it. It's easier to remember that way, too. God will use what you learn to change your heart and your life. Just knowing the Book of James has helped me to overcome temptation and to understand what following Christ looks like, among other things.

Some of you are challenged and will do this, but maybe some of you are busy and feel like you can't handle memorizing Scripture right now. Let me debunk your excuses right now. (Was that a little harsh? Not intentional...I totally understand that busyness--especially with already memorizing stuff for school--makes it hard to pile on more brain activity.) First, if you think you don't have time to strengthen your relationship with God, make time. He's worth it. Second, honestly, memorizing Scripture is not extremely time consuming. It just takes discipline. I have used several things to help me. First, I usually print out what I'm memorizing and carry it around with me. When I was in high school, I would pull it out and work on it when I was finished and had down time in class. The best way for me to memorize is to go verse by verse. If a verse is long, I'll split it up. I memorize the first verse, and then move on to the second. I learn the second and then go over the first and second together. I move on to the third and then go over the second and third togther, then the first through third together. I continue like that, verse by verse, then backtracking, until I have all of it down. Also, another way that I learned James was listening to it on the Journey CD (just make sure it's the same version as what you're memorizing!). I would listen while driving or running or such. This might work better for someone who is more of an audible learner than a visual learner. Definitely figure out your learning style and use it! I also get to know the passage better by saying it in the car when I drive or going over it in my head when I run (this is the best thing for me...I pretty much hate running!). I pray through the passage. Don't tell anyone, but I write the passage in my notes when I get bored in class...or on AP tests when I finish early...haha. Basically my point...you can do it! And please do. God will use it to bring you closer to him.

So I'll step off my soapbox now and continue. It's great to see what God is doing in and through this Bible study. Students who have never looked that deeply into the Word are really learning it, as well as what it means to be devoted followers of Christ. Students who have been deeply studying the Word for years are digging deeper. God is using this Bible study to draw students (and, as a result, their friends and families) to himself. Praise Him!

Sorry for the randomness, but it's really weird that I'm sitting at my desk at my house (in Birmingham) right now. I can't really explain the feeling. Union is home. Birmingham is home. I don't know. I think that God wired me so that I pretty easily adjust to wherever I am. I feel at home here, but when I get back to Union, I'll be glad to be home (in Jackson). Speaking of my current home, I love Union! As you can tell from my lack of posting, it's quite busy, but it's so good.

Confessions: I'm a nerd, and I study too much. I'm a grandma, and I sleep more than your average college student. I'm a penny-pincher (and on the verge of caffeine dependency), and my coffee-drinking schedule revolves around where and when it is provided for free. I'm crazy, and I'm the only person on campus awake before lunch time on Saturdays. Let me unpack all of these.

I actually enjoy studying for my classes (for the most part), and I do so a lot. My favorite place on campus is the coffee shop, Barefoots Joe. I love to study there.

I guess I lost too much sleep in high school, because I refuse to stay up late or get up crazy early. (maybe that has something to do with why I study so much during the day???) I'm pretty sure I haven't stayed up past 12 studying (or doing anything else), and I've only done that a couple of times. That's right. No one tells me to go to bed, but I go to bed earlier than I did when I was in high school. Friends of younger grades who take insane amounts of AP classes...there is hope! In college, if you discipline yourself to get your work done during the day, you can actually go to bed at night. It's quite nice.

God is really teaching me right now what Godly money-management looks like. I don't have a lot of money right now because I'm not working this semester and I'm saving up for a spring break mission trip to Boston (yay!). My parents provide me with the money that I need (honestly more than what I need), so I'm learning how to make financial decisions. It's kind of my nature to forgo certain purchases just because I want to save money (which is definitely a good thing a lot of times), but I'm learning that each purchase is truly an investment. For example, it can be this simple: when I'm grocery shopping, I might really want some fruit to make smoothies. Well, fruit is pretty expensive, but buying smoothie mixes are a little cheaper. However, it would be cheaper to just forgo the smoothies. Nevertheless, purely fruit smoothies are healthy as opposed to cheaper snack foods, so maybe investing in smoothie mixes (that really go a long way when blended with ice and bananas--which are cheap) is actually a good idea. On the other hand, sometimes it is better to choose what is cheaper or just forgo whatever I'm thinking about buying...like coffee, for example. Yep. I did start drinking coffee. I had to make some rules for myself, though, to keep my affinity for coffee from becoming sinful (ha I do realize that sounds pretty crazy...and it is...a little bit). First, I take advantage of free coffee on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. However, sitting in Barefoots on non-coffee days is quite tempting. This is when God teaches me. I can save the money and use it for mission trips or school or such, or I can spend it on coffee. I'll be honest. Sometimes forgoing the coffee is easier than other times. That sounds simple, but seriously, even buying coffee (just coffee...the fancy stuff is doubly expensive!) just a couple times a week adds up. Think about it. If you've never thought about this before, try praying before you take out your cash or your card. It'll change your life, and you might hate me for suggesting it. Just sayin.

I love Saturday mornings at Union! I think I've already talked about this in one of my earlier posts, so I won't repeat myself, but my Saturday routine is just another one of my non-college-student-like quirks. I just can't sleep through such a wonderful time to run and work out and spend time with God and (maybe even) study, you know?

Well, I could probably write more, but this post is INSANELY long. Sorry. If you persevered this far, bless you.

a union friday night

Tonight was such a lovely night. Actually, all day was pretty great. After honors, chemistry, and chapel this morning, which were all truly fantastic, I took a trip off campus to replenish our toilet paper supply. This made me feel oh so collegiate. I then went for an exhausting, but rewarding, swim at our wonderful aquatics center. Soon after was honors coffee hour, a refreshing time of fellowship with the honors community. Not much later, I went to a back to school party put on by the chemistry, physics, and engineering departments. We had dinner (free food = I'm there) and played sand volleyball. I returned home (my dorm, not B'ham) to work on some homework and hang out with my roommates before time to meet with my life group.

Now for the best part of my day--life groups. My life group met tonight and went to a water fowl reserve about ten minutes from campus. We walked out to a clearing where the full moon was bright enough that we could see clearly. We--well, the boys--made a fire, and we ate smores. Yum. A few of us brought guitars, and my leader brought her ukelele. We played and sang under God's beautiful sky--from How Great is Our God to Barton Hollow. It was beautiful. And I don't mean I had beautiful feelings. It was beautiful--the moon, the stars, the music, the fellowship. ***that was a plug for my honors friends. disregard if that didn't make sense*** In my life, one of the activities that brings me the most joy is playing and singing--especially songs that worship God--with people who love to do the same. Who knew that such a simple couple of hours could bring so much joy? This is what I love about being here at Union with people who find simple ways to enjoy God's creation and fun ways to build friendships and community.

Thanks to everyone that has been praying for me this week. God has given me so much peace and comfort and joy over the course of the week. Last week at this time, I was feeling pretty bummed (this might be an understatement) about not being in a sorority and wondering how long it would take for the assurance that God has a reason for my disappointment to get from my head to my heart. I'm not gonna lie...I'm not over it. However, I'm much more over it than I was last week. God has filled me with joy again. I rejoice in the simple things like the events of today and tonight, and I rejoice in the fact that God is sovereign and he works all things together for the good of those who love him.

His good, pleasing, and perfect will

I've wanted to blog for a while now, but I just haven't had time to sit down and get my thoughts into words in a (somewhat) concise form. So here we go. This might be long considering I have not blogged yet since I've started college.

First, God has been so faithful in confirming that Union is where I am supposed to be. I knew that when I made my decision, but it's always reassuring when God confirms decisions along the way, washing away doubt. I think I'll kind of touch on specifics as I go...

I love my classes--the people in them, the professors, the material, all of it. I'm meeting people here who are genuinely seeking Christ and following hard after Him. My professors love Jesus and care that I learn the material, but also that I see Christ in everything we learn. Last week, my Chemistry professor talked about how the unity and diversity of the elements mirror the unity and diversity of God (the Trinity--three diverse persons, yet one person). In the same week, in Honors, my professor used the Trinity to teach a lesson on writing. If you know me, you know I'm loving this. The professors also truly care about me. Some of them had even learned (or at least tried to learn) our names before we even stepped into class. Also, in my nerdiness, I'm pretty excited about philosophical discussions in Honors and chemical equations in Chemistry.

Of course, I LOVE LOVE LOVE not being in class from 8:15-3:35 every day. You see, my schedule is as follows: Monday--8:00 Honors, 9:00 Chemistry, 2:00 Chem Lab; Tuesday--10:50 Honors, 12:15 Biology, 1:40 Old Testament; Wednesday/Friday--8:00 Honors, 9:00 Chemistry; Thursday--7:50 Bio Lab, 10:50 Honors, 12:15 Biology, 1:40 Old Testament. Yep. That's right. Thursdays are brutal, but totally worth it for the rest of the week. I have more free time than I have had since I was about five years old. That will change, but right now I'm loving it. The workload is not much yet, just a good bit of reading. I've already learned most of what we're doing in Chem and Bio, so that helps a lot. Thank you Spain Park.

Not only do I love Union when classes are going on, I love Union on the weekends. Lots of people leave campus, so it's kind of quiet, but it's nice. No one gets up on Saturday mornings, but because I am such the morning person, I do. Last week, I got up and finished a paper that was due that afternoon, took a bike ride, worked out, and showered before most of campus was awake. This week, I rode my bike around campus, found a quiet shady place, spent some time with God, worked out, and went to the bank before most of campus was awake. Though I'll probably be more tired on future Saturdays, I love this routine. I think I'll keep it up. It's nice to spend the first hours of the weekend enjoying this wonderful place and enjoying time alone with God.

Well, I went through recruitment (rush) beginning last Sunday. We had display parties for all three sororities on Monday night, and then we were invited back to Skit Parties on Thursday night. I was invited back to all three sororities on Thursday, and I had a great time getting to know the girls and the personalities of each sorority. By that point I really loved one of the sororities, felt I could fit into another one (though I didn't love it quite as much), and felt the other sorority wasn't for me (nothing wrong with it...just not me). Well, Friday night, the last night before bid day, we went to the commons to find out which sororities had invited us back. I was disappointed to find out that the two sororities I liked had not invited me back, while the one sorority I did not want to be a part of had invited me to their preference party. I prayed and decided to go to the party just to be sure God did not want me in that sorority. After the party, I was sure that Greek life was not in God's plan for me this year. However, He did use rush to let me meet some new friends and to humble me. Rejection is humbling and heartbreaking. I would be lying if I told you that I'm over it. Nevertheless, I know that God is good. He works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). He knows those plans, and they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). His will is good, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:2). I've got the Word in my head, and I'm praying that the reassurance will quickly resonate in my heart.

Despite these couple rough days, I still LOVE Union. I'm so thankful for all that God used back home to prepare me spiritually, emotionally, academically, etc. for this new season of life, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he moves in my life and the lives around me in this wonderful place.

mutually exclusive

JAMES 4:1-10
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4 You adulterous people,[a] don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us[b]? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble."[c]
7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

I've been memorizing the book of James for what seems like forever (and it almost has been). The cool thing about memorizing Scripture is that as I repeat it over and over in my head, I understand it better and better. Even though I've probably gone over James chapter one hundreds of times and could probably say it in my sleep, God teaches me new things through it even now. Currently, as I've been reviewing James 4, God has given me kind of a new understanding of the passage. The word "adulterous" in verse 4 really stands out to me. I've become so fascinated with the numerous extended metaphors found throughout the Bible, and this is one of them. The church is the "bride" of Christ. When the church chooses the world over Jesus, she is essentially having an affair with the world, as a woman has an affair with a man to whom she isn't married. Now, this is the not so beautiful part of the metaphor. What truly fascinates me is the other side of this metaphor. The church is the bride of Christ, waiting for her groom (Jesus) to come back for her. As a bride remains pure for her future husband, the church should be pure and ready for the return of her perfect groom. This picture was painted so beautifully for me last year in Zambia. One of my team members from Texas told us about how it was Jewish custom for a woman who was betrothed to be married to wait in her home for her groom to come for her after building a home for them. She would not know when he was coming. She just had to be ready. This is such the perfect picture of the relationship between the Christ and the Church. He has gone to prepare a place for us, and he is coming back. We don't know when he will return for us, but we have to be ready. We have to remain pure and faultless for Him.

However, I want to talk about the not so beautiful side as well, the times when we choose the world over Christ, when we have affairs with the world. You know, this passage is clear. We can't have the best of both worlds. It's Christ or the world. Friend or enemy of God. All or nothing. When we choose the world, we are essentially cheating on God. We are looking him in the face and telling him that whatever we put above him--and that can be anything, even good things--is more valuable to us than he is at that moment. He wants are full attention. Our total submission. It's so easy to give in to this world because it's so in our faces and so quick to fix our problems while God doesn't always seem to be as close and might want us to be more patient, but we've got to get past our impatient and shortsighted desires and realize the greatness and sovereignty of our God. We know that he is greater than anything this world has to offer, but when it comes to instant gratification versus waiting on the Lord, it's hard to be patient and pass up what might seem better at the time. The fact that choosing Christ is hard, however, is no excuse. Jesus tells us that following him won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I don't know about you, but for me, if following the Creator of the Universe who loved me enough to send His Son to die for me means passing up my selfish desires so that He can receive glory, then I'm willing.

Let's remember the seriousness of our sin and the beauty of our redemption through Christ. May this perspective affect the way in which we live our lives, in constant awareness that Christ is better and that our total allegiance is to him and him alone.

Africa on the brain

This morning before I left to get my wisdom teeth taken out, I got a Zambia update email saying that the team had been called to the immigration office near where they were working because they could not do ministry with the visas they had. I prayed, asking God to change the hearts of the officials there. As I waited in the waiting room, my dad got an update email saying that the team was dismissed and allowed to continue minstry without having to pay any fines. How great is our God! He truly has ALL authority over every immigration officer and every situation. Please pray for the team as they continue planting churches in Nyimba.

On another African note, I have been reading this blog by a young woman who is doing ministry in Uganda. Her story is almost unbelievable. In short, she is not much older than me, and she has adopted several Ugandan children, helped hundreds of children pay for school, and provides food and showers in her home for countless children daily. And that's a really short and simple summary that doesn't come close to explaining the impact of her ministry. Please read her blog: http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com.

Reading this blog has challenged me and inspired me. It has challenged me to make sacrifices for the cause of Christ and has inspired me to be truly grateful for what I've been given. For example, children in Uganda die because of preventable causes, such as starvation and lack of sanitation. As I sit here on my comfy chair with ice on my face and pain meds in my system and the TV on, I think about the fact that most Ugandan teens don't even have the option to get their wisdom teeth taken out. They don't even have clean water with which to brush their teeth. This makes me so thankful for my healthcare, but at the same time, I struggle with why I am so blessed and others are not. I don't think anyone can answer this question, but I do know that God blessed me so that I can be a blessing to others. I pray that he will show me daily how I can use what I have been given to bless others.

see you later then

Yesterday I went to the airport with several friends to say "see you later" to Kelsey (who will be ministering in Zambia for a year) and the team (who will be there for two weeks). Oh man. It was heart-wrenching to see the tears of friends and family as they prepared to see her go and eventually watched her walk toward her departure gate. It was a bittersweet display of the many lives Kelsey has touched who did not want to let go of her for so long but were excited about the journey God has ahead of her. Not only was it hard for me to see her go because she will be away for so long, but it was hard to see her leaving without the assurance that I would be joining her in a few weeks, as it has been for the past two years. My heart aches to join the beautiful harmonies of Zambian worship and to take pictures of the sweet children who love to see themselves making silly faces. It has been too long since I have had the joy of watching my Zambian brothers and sisters in Christ take hold of how to share the Gospel and disciple new believers.

However, though I may not get to be a tangible part of her ministry in Zambia until Spring Break or even Summer, I am so excited that God has called Kelsey to Zambia for this year and that she has been obedient to his call. If you don't know what stepping out on faith looks like, here it is: Kelsey just graduated high school, which means if she was like most people around here, she would be going to college this year. However, she felt that God was calling her to do ministry in Zambia this year, and so that's what she is doing. It doesn't end there though. When you plan to do ministry in Zambia, there are a lot of uncertainties involved. Basically, Kelsey does not know exactly where she will live (or the living conditions involved) or what she will do. She is working with an organization that will take care of her, but still, there are lots of unknowns. Now that is trusting in God! I am so encouraged and challenged by her example.

Her obedience is such a picture of this verse: "Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life." Mark 10:29-30. For this year, Kelsey has left her home, family, friends, and pretty much everything else behind to further the Kingdom.

Please pray for Kelsey (and for the team!)...
--safety in travel
--openness to the Gospel among the Zambians
--communication with the Zambians, especially with pastors and church members
--for Kelsey...that God will provide friends for her so she is not lonely, that she will stay healthy and safe, that God will bring people to himself through her and that she will be able to disciple them

Please pray for this team. Spiritual warfare is real, but prayer is powerful! Our God is greater!

Our Kelsey prayer bracelets!

Kelsey's Send-off Party

#camp2011

God truly moved at summer camp this year. A lot of things stood out to me, so I'll probably have several camp posts, but here's one thing that really hit me.

Wade said something that struck me. If it doesn't hit you the way it hit me, you're gonna think this is really dumb because it's so simple, but it's so profound. Wade was preaching about the reality of hell, and he said that life isn't fair and God isn't fair because if God was fair, we would all be in hell. You know, I've heard the Gospel all my life. I've even heard it put similarly before, but I guess it's been a while since I've truly remembered that I don't deserve what Jesus did for me on the cross. After Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, we were all destined for hell. Romans 5:10 says that we were enemies of God, but we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son. Before we accept God's gift of salvation, we are literally God's enemies. However, even in the midst of our sin, God loved us so much that he sent his Son Jesus to earth to live as a human and die a sinner's death, bearing the weight of every sin committed--past, present, and future. He didn't have to do that. If God was fair, we would all be in hell. We deserve hell. Everyone has sinned against the God who is perfection, who cannot be in the presence of sin. That God chose to save us. I think that word "save" is overused, and we forget it's gravity. God SAVED us, RESCUED us, from eternal separation from him, from eternal torture in hell. He didn't have to do it, but he did. I don't know about you, but that makes me want to live for him. That makes me want to tell other people that someone loved them enough to die for them even when they were His enemies. I hope that the Gospel means something more to you now than it did before you read this, and I pray that this unconditional love will compel you to action.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:18

You're Gonna Miss This

This summer is flying by as I treasure all of the "lasts" that are happening all at once. You know, a few years ago, I thought I would have no trouble leaving all my friends and family and going to any college, whether I knew people there or not. Goes to show you how much can change in just a few years. God has blessed me with incredible friends, Sunday School teachers, family, and just people in general. So, what has happened to change my feelings from a few years ago? Well, for one, I've realized the value of the friendships and relationships that I've had for several years that I thought would be easy to let go. Also, God has strengthened those relationships as well as brought new people into my life with whom I wish I had more time to spend. One thing that God has certainly changed and developed in me throughout my high school years is my desire to pursue relationships with people, opportunities to strengthen and to be strengthened, you know, iron sharpening iron, accountability. I used to think that I could handle life on my own. I was (and to some degree still am) very independent and did not really care about knowing other people deeply and them knowing me. As I've grown in my relationship with God and my knowledge of his Word, I've begun to understand the importance of deep relationships that are rooted in Christ, the kind of friends that talk about Christ and what God is teaching them, the ones who pray for each other and hold each other accountable in their walk. God has blessed me with relationships like these, relationships that I never thought I would want or need, and now I'm leaving these friends in a little over a month. I say leaving; however, I do not mean that these relationships will just end, but going from seeing these friends almost every day of my life to seeing them maybe every other month or so, well, it's gonna be quite different. Moving on from such a strong and close family of faith is going to be tough, but God is showing me that this is a time when he is teaching me to rely on his sufficiency. He is the strength of my heart, my portion forever. What more could I need? I'm trusting that he will provide new friends for me as I go to college, friends that will encourage me in my faith and hold me accountable.

My Sweet Core Group!

Senior Girls!

humbled

Oh man. So you see, I went to preteen camp this week. I told my parents I wanted to drive myself to the church for departure on Wednesday and drive myself back home upon arrival at church yesterday. Something about being as independent as possible just makes me feel great. Well, on Tuesday night, they really didn't want me to drive myself, just because my car would be parked at church for a few days when it could be safe at home--a reasonable request. However, I really wanted to take care of myself, and my parents finally gave in and allowed me to do so. You're thinking I got in a wreck on the way to church? Well, that's incorrect, but God did humble me in a more subtle way. When we arrived at church yesterday--after a very long and loud ride with fifth grade boys--I got my stuff and went to put it in my car before going to help unload the preteen ministry stuff from the truck. I opened my trunk and put my stuff inside, including my water bottle, to which I had so [in]conveniently attached my car key with a carabiner.  I closed the trunk and then, to my horror, realized that I no longer had my beloved car key of independence, and my car was locked. Fortunately, my phone was in my pocket and not in my bag. With much frustration, but calm and collectedly, I called my dad and asked him to bring me my spare key. The event which I thought I had avoided occurred. I had to wait for my dad to bring my key so that I could get home. He might as well have just picked me up in the first place. So, the point of my long and maybe even boring story? Though I do not think God was telling me that I must ride with my parents every time they suggest such, I do believe that he used this somewhat embarrassing episode to humble me. To remind me that even though I am eighteen years old--as I so often remind my parents--I can make mistakes, whether big or small, with trivial or even devastating consequences.

This humiliating yet humbling experience made me think of James 4:10, which says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." God does not expect us to be perfect--though he does call us to obedience. He calls us to respond to our mistakes (and to our imperfection in general versus God's holiness) with humility rather than pride.

So, there you have it. For the first (and hopefully the last) time, Emily Knight locked her key in her car. Yep, I did.

It's been too long

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. My sincere apologies.
So, I'm starting a club. Basically, if you have ever shared the Gospel in your sleep, you're in it. That's right. It happened to me. You see, the other night, I was looking at AweStar Peru updates before I went to bed. Somehow I ended up dreaming that I was on a mission trip. Oddly enough, we traveled to wherever we were going, and we happened to arrive at my basement, but I guess it really wasn't MY basement, because there were Asian people inside watching TV. So, I guess we were in Asia somewhere? Anyway, I walked in and began to share the Gospel with the people inside. I talked about how man had sinned against God, so man was separated from God, and how Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead to allow man's reconciliation with God. Unfortunately, that's as far as I got. I woke up after that. Interesting, huh?
That's all for now, but hopefully more to come before (and after) camp!

Writer's Block

Well, I apologize for not writing for awhile...I've had some serious writer's block. Maybe it's just all the AP studying frying my brain...

One thing I do want to say is that God didn't give us the Bible so we can read it and hope it works for us. When he says through Paul, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7)," he means it. DO NOT worry about ANYTHING. It's not a suggestion. It's a command followed by a promise. And it's so true. Let's just say I'm taking AP exam 5 of 6 tomorrow, and I have not had a panic attack yet; honestly, I haven't even come close. In fact, some people have asked me how I'm not insanely stressed. My answer is Jesus. Now, there are certainly more strenuous circumstances in this life, and God certainly grants us peace in those, too; however, I know people that become extremely worried about things even less important than AP exams. That's what is awesome about this promise. God gives us peace in the little and the big in life. I praise God because I have experienced his peace this week through AP exams, in the past through some tough circumstances, and throughout the small stuff in life. I have certainly experienced my share of worry in years past before I turned my worries over to Christ, but God has taught me over the years that prayer and thanksgiving is the surest way to combat and even overcome worry. In the Gospels, Jesus also talks about the trivial nature of worry. It's pointless. All worry does is show that we do not trust God enough to take care of us in the small and big of life. Living a lifestyle of trust in God is about taking concerns to him in prayer rather than stressing ourselves to death. Don't let worry render you ineffective. Take your concerns to God. He will take care of you, and he will give you incomprehensible peace.

A Birthday Post

I just want to take this opportunity on my birthday to praise God for the 18 years he has given me. He has grown me and transformed me in so many ways throughout the years. I praise him for all of the Godly people he has placed in my life--from family members to Sunday School teachers to youth ministers to teachers to friends, on and on and on. I think the most powerful thing God has used in my life is the influence of other Godly people that challenge me to follow Christ with everything that I am. Thanks to all of you who have made a difference in my life by living out yours for the Gospel. Thank you for letting God use you for his glory.

God has done so many great things in my life throughout the years, and I want him to receive the glory for what he has done. Anything I have accomplished is because of God's work through me. Any academic achievement I've made is because He gave me the ability to learn and think. He gave me a reason to work toward academic success and the perseverance to do so. Any integrity or character you have seen in me is only through the Spirit of God living in me. On my own, I am selfish and prideful. God is daily transforming and softening my old selfish heart into a new selfless one. Any success I have achieved is worthless to me if you credit me for it. I don't deserve recognition, nor do I want it. Matthew 5:16 says, "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Praise God for any good you have seen in my life because it is God, not me, that does good in me and through me.

seekfindlovefollow

I really like how God's Word overlaps and intertwines. For my blog title, I chose four words that kind of outline the Christian life. As I have looked for verses to explain my blog title, I have found that so many verses explain what my blog title means, and so many of these verses from different places in the Bible tie together perfectly. So, here we go. This is why my blog is called "Seek. Find. Love. Follow."


SEEK
Recently, I have been obsessed with the word seek. God has really placed the concept of seeking on my heart for the past few weeks. The word is a reminder to me that my lifestyle as a follower of Christ is not a passive one. I can't just sit back and let life go by. I have to live life seeking God. This means searching for truth—in the Bible and just in the world God created—because God is the ultimate source of all truth; he is truth. It means letting God and his glory be my reason and purpose for every aspect of my life. It means chasing wholeheartedly after God.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:11-13
⁷ "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8


FIND
God promises multiple times in the Bible (some are above) that those who truly seek after him will find him. This is such a beautiful promise. Recently in my life, I have just been seeking after truth and understanding, in interpreting God's Word as well as in pursuing God's plan for my life. I have been seeking him and praying that he will allow me to read his Word with fresh eyes and see the truth rather than only what I have always heard. I want to know God's truth rather than cultural truth. I have also been seeking him and praying that he will make his will clear to me. It is so comforting to know that God promises that his plans are good and that those who seek him will find him. I may be impatient and want to find truth and make decisions quickly, but I know that God is faithful in keeping his promises and that I will find when (or if) he wants me to find.


LOVE
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -1 Corinthians 13:13
⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. -Romans 12:9-10


It's really cool how the words in my blog title intertwine. The way I understand and experience it, as I seek and find God, I love him and his people more and more. I didn't put all of 1 Corinthians 13 on here, but if you want a great definition of love, find it and read it. As the Bible says, without love, every action is meaningless. In my own life, I have realized that I, as a human being, cannot truly love without at least somewhat grasping the love of Christ. As I began my journey as a follower of Christ, I started to realize how selfish and unloving I could be, even though I really wanted to love people as Jesus did. Sometimes, however, I just didn't feel love toward people, from people in need to people that just got on my nerves. As I have grown in my relationship with God, I have learned that I can change my thoughts, but only God can change my heart. I can want to love people and think that I do love people, but really only a heart change from God can cause me to show sincere love. As I have noticed my lack of love and passion for people that God loves (all people!), I have prayed asking God for a love for his people. It really is amazing what praying in faith can do. I am in no way perfect or full of undying love for all people on earth, but I can definitely say that I have a greater love for God and for people than I did a year ago. This kind of feeds into my next word...

⁹ "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. -John 15:9-14
⁶ And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. -2 John 1:6
⁵ But if anyone obeys his word, love for God^[a^] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: ⁶ Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. -1 John 2:5-6


FOLLOW
¹ Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
² Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
³ they do no wrong
but follow his ways. -Psalm 119:1-3
¹⁸ As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ¹⁹ "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people." ²⁰ At once they left their nets and followed him. ²¹ Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, ²² and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. -Matthew 4:18-22
²³ Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me...." ⁵⁷ As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." ⁵⁸ Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." ⁵⁹ He said to another man, "Follow me." But he replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." ⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." ⁶¹ Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family." ⁶² Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." -Luke 9:23,57-62


Like one of the verses above says, we show that we love God by obeying what he commands. Another one of the verses says that love is walking in obedience to his commands. As my seeking and finding God causes me to love him more, I desire more to follow him. If I haven't gotten this across already, I love the way these four words and concepts (seek, find, love, follow) intertwine throughout the Bible. The desire to follow God stems from a love for him that grows as I seek and find him. I don't live the same way I did when I was little, "following the rules" because I wanted to avoid trouble. Now I live my life (the best that I can) according to God's Word because he is glorified when I obey him. I want to do a mini word study quickly here...The word "follow" is used 435 times in the NIV version of the Bible. I think I'll just discuss a few of them, but here we go...First, when Jesus calls his future disciples from their fishing (their source of income) and their families, they immediately follow him. That is pretty amazing. The men have no idea who Jesus is, but they just leave everything behind and follow him. However, we have the Bible and we have all the people before us that have given their lives to the advancement of the Gospel, but we still question Jesus when he tells us to follow him. How I pray that my first response to whenever I know Jesus is calling me to do one thing or another will become less like the response of our selfish society and more like the quick obedience of the fishermen. Later on, in Luke 9, Jesus tells his disciples that if they want to be his disciples, they must deny themselves, take up their crosses daily, and follow him. That's pretty intense. Think about it. People who are not followers of Christ (and oftentimes even we who are) are focused on themselves for the most part. Life for them is about doing what makes them happy. I'm not saying every non-Christian is an egotistical jerk, but what I mean is that people who are not followers of Christ would think Jesus' command to deny self and follow him is crazy. Self-denial is not normal. In today's society, no one wants to be inconvenienced, and most people even courteously don't inconvenience others. Self-denial is about laying aside my desires and taking on whatever God has for me, even when it's inconvenient, even when I'm "busy." Self-denial is about loving Jesus more than my reputation or earthly success.  Self-denial is literally denying self; it's forgetting what my sinful and selfish nature wants and following Christ wherever he leads. Also, at the end of Luke 9, Jesus has some harsh responses for men who claim they want to follow him but have some other (seemingly important) things to do. This passage is so convicting. Basically, Jesus says that when you follow him, he is all that matters to you. The advancement of the Gospel trumps all. Now, I'm certainly not saying that we should live our lives preaching on street corners; actually, in our society that's not very effective. Nevertheless, this passage in Luke means that if we want to follow Christ, our lives are all about advancing the Kingdom of God. That means that Jesus is the reason for everything we do; our lives in their entirety are evidence of our love for him. Following Jesus is clearly not as easy as our American churches often make it. Following Jesus is actually hard. Jesus even warns us of the difficulty of following him, but somehow our Gospel becomes more about Jesus making us happy than God's great love for us leading us to love and therefore obey him. If someone were to examine your daily life, would it be obvious to them that you love Jesus?




So, in case it hasn't hit home yet, seek God wholeheartedly, and you will find him. As you find God and come to know how great he is, your love for him will grow, and it will compel you to follow him in obedience. I pray that God will put an undying desire in your heart to know and love him. Thanks for reading this SUPER LONG post!

Let me tell you about the AMAZING things God did in Panama last week...

Well, I've been on mission in Panama for the past week, and God worked through us in amazing ways. We presented the drama (an allegorical presentation of the Gospel) in the slums, in schools, on busy street corners and shopping areas, in a Kuna village in the jungle, and in a beautiful touristy area. Every time after we did the drama, we would talk to the people who had watched it. God opened many hearts to our message, and so many people--adults and children alike--were saved! However, we learned as we did the drama in the beautiful and rich touristy place that people who think they have everything they need are not as receptive to the Gospel as people who have nothing. As Walker told us, Jesus plus nothing equals everything. When we get to a point where we realize that nothing will satisfy us but Him, we have everything we need.

Here's kind of a play-by-play of our trip...
We spent Monday and Tuesday doing our drama in various locations (street corners, schools, etc.). One of our sites was in slums that were so dangerous we had to have a police escort in. Walker told us that Awe Star had not even been allowed to go there for three years. We prayed as Walker and the translators went to ask for an escort, and God answered our prayers and gave us a police escort. Also, in the same place, it started raining during the drama. We prayed that God would stop the rain so that we wouldn't lose our crowd, and the rain stopped. We also went to a school for special needs children and had the opportunity to perform our drama for truly the "least of these." Praise God for the boldness He gave us these days as we shared our testimonies and the Gospel with people in several differenet areas of Panama City, and praise Him for preparing the way before us.

We left Wednesday morning for the jungle, riding the bus for a couple of hours then a canoe for a couple of hours. We finally arrived at the Kuna village that afternoon. The women church members and some children greeted us and helped us get moved into the hut where we would all (30+ of us) be staying. The girls stayed in tents inside the hut, and the guys slept under mosquito nets in the same hut.

While we were in the village, we were able to perform the drama two times. It was the first time the Kunas were able to hear it in their own language, and the chief told Walker that he had understood it for the first time. Though the chief did not accept the Gospel, we praise God for opening his heart to understand the message.

Also, we were able to love on the Kuna children and share the love of Christ with them as we played with them and talked with them throughout the two days we were there. After we had kind of a VBS with the children on Thursday, they continued singing all day the Spanish songs we taught them! Praise God that they are probably still singing about His joy and peace today!

Well, after not showering for a couple days, running around with the children, and doing our drama twice, we were quite sticky and smelly. We had the wonderful experience of going up the beautiful river to clean up a little bit on Thursday. It was so awesome to look at God's beautiful creation, to get in some cool water, and to smell good for at least thirty minutes!

After we cleaned up and had dinner on Thursday, we just played with the children until bedtime. A little girl named Liliber came up to me and wanted me to hold her. I ended up carrying her around for over an hour! She didn't talk to me for a while, but after I had talked to her and sung to her for a little while, she started asking me to get our picture taken. We also sang the VBS songs with some other little girls for a long time. These girls were so precious!

Not only did God do these amazing things while we were in the village, He also did something awesome as we left. The Kunas were worried about us being in their village because when Christians had previously come, floods came soon after, and the Kunas blamed it on the Christians. However, as we left the village in the canoe, God placed a rainbow in front of us. It was so beautiful! We could even see both ends of it! This was just another reminder to me that God is sovereign and that He is with us.

Well, when we got back to civilization, we showered and got ready to do some shopping. We got to shop in a market that had a lot of the stuff we saw in the village, and we also got to go to a HUGE mall and have some great food and time to relax. I think this was a really great time to recharge a little bit and to get ready for Saturday.

Saturday was a big day. You see, Walker and Kristin turned Saturday over to us. Yes, a bunch of 14-18-year-olds led a day of Jesus ministry in Panama (with quite a bit of assistance from our wonderful translators and bus driver). But really, we were in charge of pretty much everything but the locations of our drama, transportation, and overall safety. This opportunity to be student led really taught us that we truly can be adults (as Walker taught us all week) and do ministry ourselves. It also taught us the importance of being a leader, but also the importance of being a follower--submitting to authority, as Walker had taught us the night before. God really empowered us to lead and to follow on Saturday. We were able to do the drama five times, which was exhausting, but entirely worth it. God orchestrated the weather in our favor; when it rained really hard, our drama site was covered, and the rain cooled us off nicely. We were able to bless many children who followed us from site to site---some of them saw us three times! Also, the poorest of the poor in Panama saw and heard the Gospel, and numerous people accepted Christ. At our first site, my responsibility on my ministry team was to "distract," to pull any kids aside so my team could talk to the adults. Well, God constantly reminds me that His plan is His plan, because I ended up sharing with the kids I pulled aside, and Ryan (our team pray-er) became the distractor for me after he and Mary Amanda were finished sharing with the adults. I was able to lead four young girls to Christ at that site. This experience was yet another reminder that God is sovereign, that he had gone before us, putting those four girls by the adults my team would talk to, and putting my ministry team together as he did.

God affirmed for me through this trip that He is bigger than any language barrier, any timidity, any danger, anything. He can work through anyone who is willing. One thing that is a struggle for me is leading people to Christ who I will not be able to follow up with myself. Last week, God really showed me that He is bigger than me, that He has the power and control to take care of discipleship. We provided the names of people who were saved to locals who will follow up with those people. God taught me that I have done the work, and now I can just pray for those people and trust that he will continue and finish what he has started in them. It amazes me that God brings people to himself through American teenagers who perform a simple drama, approach Panamanian children and adults, and read the Gospel in Spanish off of a card. I think that the fact that he draws people to himself in this way shows how powerful he is.

What an amazing week we had in Panama! Obviously, God moved in power---in us and through us. I believe that all of our lives have been changed in some way, and the lives of numerous Panamanians have been changed as well. I covered a good number of stories in this post, but there are, of course, many more. Please ask me or anyone else who went to tell you more about our experiences in Panama!

Also, as I wrap up this post, I just want to say that not only did we learn and grow a lot through ministry, we also learned a ton from Walker's teachings. He taught us from God's Word multiple times daily, and these times were so beneficial, even life-changing for all of us. We learned how to live as Godly adults, and how to treat each other as men and women of God. We learned what it means to be like Jesus, to get our hands dirty in ministry. It's really hard to sum up everything I learned here, but seriously, ask me about what I learned, and I would LOVE to tell you more!

The Greatest Treason

     In Murder in the Cathedral, a play by T.S. Eliot that we read in AP English, Thomas Becket, an archbishop in the church in Canterbury, is martyred because he refuses to compromise over a disagreement with the King of England. At the beginning of the play, Thomas faces four temptations. The first temptations concern earthly things, and Thomas easily dismisses them. However, the fourth temptation comes as a surprise. The fourth tempter tempts Thomas with the glory of martyrdom. He tempts Thomas to choose martyrdom because of the glory he could receive rather than the glory God could receive from his death. Thomas says, "The last temptation is the greatest treason: / To do the right deed for the wrong reason."

     Maybe I'm not facing martyrdom at the moment, but this fourth tempter is certainly applicable to my life. One of the easiest temptations to fall into is doing the right things for the wrong reason. As a Christian, I am called to serve because of my love for Christ, not to make myself look good or gain earthly rewards. However, sometimes it is easy to get into a routine of service and forget why I serve. Wade Morris said something as we studied Colossians in Bible study that really stuck with me, "Activity is no substitute for spirituality." This means that going to church, going on mission trips, doing service projects, etc. does not make someone a "good Christian." The motivation behind the action matters as much as the action itself. It's like in 1 Corinthians 13 when Paul says, "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." Because the love of God compels us to love and serve other people, we should focus more on what God did for us than what we do for God. When the love of God and the cross of Christ is our central focus, we truly want to obey him. We follow and serve out of love, not out of obligation. For me, this is not always easy. I have to remember why I do what I do. I have to check my motives often to make sure that they are not out of place. When the Holy Spirit convicts me that I have selfish motives, I pray and ask God to transform my heart. I can't fix my motives myself. I've tried. It doesn't work. Only God can change my heart. I praise God for reminding me (through AP English class!) of how important it is to serve with motivations that are pleasing to Him. I know that I don't want to fall into a lifestyle of the greatest treason, doing the right deed for the wrong reason. I don't want to realize at the end of my life that everything I have done has brought glory to me rather than to God.

An Update and a Preview...

Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a while...
I went to Union this weekend for Scholars Weekend, which was so much fun! Before anyone jumps to conclusions though...I HAVE NOT DECIDED WHERE I AM GOING TO COLLEGE FOR SURE YET. Anyway, I got to meet a bunch of really cool people--Union students and professors as well as high school seniors like me. I got to learn more about what Union is all about and get a feel for what going to school there is like. Also, and most importantly as far as scholarship money goes, I interviewed and participated in small group discussions, which were a little nerve racking, but nonetheless, enjoyable. If you don't know much about Union, let me just tell you that Union is awesome! Their Core Values are: Excellence Driven, Christ Centered, People Focused, Future Directed. If you know me, hopefully you know that these values match up pretty well with my life (or at least what I strive for in my life) and my goals. Union truly does reflect these values. They pursue academic excellence (and excellence in all aspects of life) because all truth comes from God and because God calls us to work at everything we do with all our hearts (Col. 3:23). They seek to integrate faith into every classroom, not just theology, because again all truth is God's truth; the more we understand God's truth, the better we can understand God's character. They provide opportunities to serve people, through actual classes and majors as well as through numerous other avenues. They also focus on preparing students for their future vocation by equipping them with the proper knowledge and skills to carry out that vocation successfully while most importantly making an impact for the Kingdom of God. All of these values intertwine beautifully to create an amazing God-glorifying university. Pray for me as I am seeking God to find if this is where He wants to use me and grow me for the next 4+ years.
And a preview of a post I'm working on...
In AP English, we read Murder in the Cathedral by T.S. Eliot. I won't go into detail right now, but this play brings up some great issues that deal with the Christian faith. One of these issues is motives. If someone chooses to do what is right, but for the wrong reasons, are they still doing right? I have a lot to say about this play, and so I'm working on making the upcoming post concise, which is nearly impossible. Hopefully I can finish soon...

Pure Religion

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

Disciple Now this weekend was such a wonderful time of service, worship, learning, and fellowship. I truly enjoyed this weekend because we not only learned about what we are called to do as believers, especially in regards to the poor, but we actually went out and did it, and there are opportunities for us to continue doing it. At this point, our answer is to hear God's call to be Jesus to the poor or to blatantly ignore it. James 4:17 says, "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them." We know God's call on our lives to serve the poor, so now we have no excuse. And when I say God's call, I'm talking about the 2,000+ verses in the Bible about poverty and justice. Clearly, God cares deeply about the oppressed and those who suffer because of injustice. Here are some of my favorite verses that show God's heart for the poor:

"For six years you are to sow your fields and harvest the crops, but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what is left. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove." -Exodus 23:10-11

"If any of your fellow Israelites become poor and are unable to support themselves among you, help them as you would a foreigner and stranger, so they can continue to live among you. Do not take interest or any profit from them, but fear your God, so that they may continue to live among you. You must not lend them money at interest or sell them food at a profit. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt to give you the land of Canaan and to be your God. If any of your fellow Israelites become poor and sell themselves to you, do not make them work as slaves. They are to be treated as hired workers or temporary residents among you; they are to work for you until the Year of Jubilee. Then they and their children are to be released, and they will go back to their own clans and to the property of their ancestors. Because the Israelites are my servants, whom I brought out of Egypt, they must not be sold as slaves. Do not rule over them ruthlessly, but fear your God." -Leviticus 25:35-43

"If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need. Be careful not to harbor this wicked thought: 'The seventh year, the year for canceling debts, is near,' so that you do not show ill will toward the needy among your fellow Israelites and give them nothing. They may then appeal to the LORD against you, and you will be found guilty of sin. Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land." -Deuteronomy 15:7-11

"The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor." -1 Samuel 2:7-8

"Whoever shuts their ears to the cry of the poor will also cry out and not be answered." -Proverbs 21:13

"The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them." -Isaiah 41:17

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday." -Isaiah 58:6-10

"Then Jesus said to his host, 'When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.'" -Luke 14:12-14

"Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." -Revelation 7:16-17

Obviously, God does care deeply about the poor, and he has a plan for them. We are the hands and feet of Jesus on this earth. We are God's plan for the care of the poor until Jesus returns. This means we are called to live lifestyles devoted to being Jesus to people that are impoverished and oppressed. Is everyone called to sell everything they have to give to the poor? Not necessarily. God has blessed us with much so that we can use the resources and abilities He has given us to bless other people. However, blessing those who are not so blessed on this earth should not be done out of compulsion or to check a box. We should want our hearts to align with God's heart, and God's heart is clearly deeply concerned about the poor. A few years ago, I had little to no understanding of poverty and God's heart for the poor. As I started going on mission trips and experiencing these people, I noticed that yes, I cared about these people, but I wasn't truly burdened for them. I adjusted back to our society so easily and all but forgot about the poverty I had seen and the faces that characterized it. I didn't realize the opportunities I had to help the poor in my own home city. I started to pray for a heart that breaks for what breaks God's heart. I asked for a love for God's people. As I have sought after God, He has given me a love and brokenness for His people. I can't truly love these people on my own. My flesh is too selfish and too comfortable with where I am. However, because I asked God to give me a love and passion for the poor, He is answering my prayers. He has made me uncomfortable and disgusted with living a lukewarm life. He has given me a new passion and a burdensome brokenness for impoverished and oppressed people here at home and around the world. I think that is the key. We as Christians can't help people who are in poverty if we are just trying to help because someone told us to do it. We have to let God really break us. We have to let him strip away our selfishness and our desire for our comfortable lifestyles. Outside our four-bedroom houses and six-floor churches are people who have desperate physical and spiritual needs. These people are far away in Africa, but they are also nearby in Birmingham. These people have stories. They have personalities. They have souls. They need our resources, but they also need our love, the love that comes only through Jesus Christ. They need us more than a short visit once a week, or once ever. They need our constant prayer. They need to know that we care about them more than we care about community service hours. They need to know that we are willing to truly invest in their lives. We have opportunities to help the poor all around the world, to answer God's call to be His hands and feet, to be a part of his plan of restoration. He is making all things beautiful in time. We can choose to participate in his wonderful beautification, or we can selfishly ignore his blatant call to action. What kind of religion do we practice? Is it pure and faultless, or do we deceive ourselves with a faith that listens and never acts?

"I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,  the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." -Isaiah 61:1-3