Writer's Block

Well, I apologize for not writing for awhile...I've had some serious writer's block. Maybe it's just all the AP studying frying my brain...

One thing I do want to say is that God didn't give us the Bible so we can read it and hope it works for us. When he says through Paul, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7)," he means it. DO NOT worry about ANYTHING. It's not a suggestion. It's a command followed by a promise. And it's so true. Let's just say I'm taking AP exam 5 of 6 tomorrow, and I have not had a panic attack yet; honestly, I haven't even come close. In fact, some people have asked me how I'm not insanely stressed. My answer is Jesus. Now, there are certainly more strenuous circumstances in this life, and God certainly grants us peace in those, too; however, I know people that become extremely worried about things even less important than AP exams. That's what is awesome about this promise. God gives us peace in the little and the big in life. I praise God because I have experienced his peace this week through AP exams, in the past through some tough circumstances, and throughout the small stuff in life. I have certainly experienced my share of worry in years past before I turned my worries over to Christ, but God has taught me over the years that prayer and thanksgiving is the surest way to combat and even overcome worry. In the Gospels, Jesus also talks about the trivial nature of worry. It's pointless. All worry does is show that we do not trust God enough to take care of us in the small and big of life. Living a lifestyle of trust in God is about taking concerns to him in prayer rather than stressing ourselves to death. Don't let worry render you ineffective. Take your concerns to God. He will take care of you, and he will give you incomprehensible peace.

A Birthday Post

I just want to take this opportunity on my birthday to praise God for the 18 years he has given me. He has grown me and transformed me in so many ways throughout the years. I praise him for all of the Godly people he has placed in my life--from family members to Sunday School teachers to youth ministers to teachers to friends, on and on and on. I think the most powerful thing God has used in my life is the influence of other Godly people that challenge me to follow Christ with everything that I am. Thanks to all of you who have made a difference in my life by living out yours for the Gospel. Thank you for letting God use you for his glory.

God has done so many great things in my life throughout the years, and I want him to receive the glory for what he has done. Anything I have accomplished is because of God's work through me. Any academic achievement I've made is because He gave me the ability to learn and think. He gave me a reason to work toward academic success and the perseverance to do so. Any integrity or character you have seen in me is only through the Spirit of God living in me. On my own, I am selfish and prideful. God is daily transforming and softening my old selfish heart into a new selfless one. Any success I have achieved is worthless to me if you credit me for it. I don't deserve recognition, nor do I want it. Matthew 5:16 says, "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Praise God for any good you have seen in my life because it is God, not me, that does good in me and through me.

seekfindlovefollow

I really like how God's Word overlaps and intertwines. For my blog title, I chose four words that kind of outline the Christian life. As I have looked for verses to explain my blog title, I have found that so many verses explain what my blog title means, and so many of these verses from different places in the Bible tie together perfectly. So, here we go. This is why my blog is called "Seek. Find. Love. Follow."


SEEK
Recently, I have been obsessed with the word seek. God has really placed the concept of seeking on my heart for the past few weeks. The word is a reminder to me that my lifestyle as a follower of Christ is not a passive one. I can't just sit back and let life go by. I have to live life seeking God. This means searching for truth—in the Bible and just in the world God created—because God is the ultimate source of all truth; he is truth. It means letting God and his glory be my reason and purpose for every aspect of my life. It means chasing wholeheartedly after God.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:11-13
⁷ "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8


FIND
God promises multiple times in the Bible (some are above) that those who truly seek after him will find him. This is such a beautiful promise. Recently in my life, I have just been seeking after truth and understanding, in interpreting God's Word as well as in pursuing God's plan for my life. I have been seeking him and praying that he will allow me to read his Word with fresh eyes and see the truth rather than only what I have always heard. I want to know God's truth rather than cultural truth. I have also been seeking him and praying that he will make his will clear to me. It is so comforting to know that God promises that his plans are good and that those who seek him will find him. I may be impatient and want to find truth and make decisions quickly, but I know that God is faithful in keeping his promises and that I will find when (or if) he wants me to find.


LOVE
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -1 Corinthians 13:13
⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. -Romans 12:9-10


It's really cool how the words in my blog title intertwine. The way I understand and experience it, as I seek and find God, I love him and his people more and more. I didn't put all of 1 Corinthians 13 on here, but if you want a great definition of love, find it and read it. As the Bible says, without love, every action is meaningless. In my own life, I have realized that I, as a human being, cannot truly love without at least somewhat grasping the love of Christ. As I began my journey as a follower of Christ, I started to realize how selfish and unloving I could be, even though I really wanted to love people as Jesus did. Sometimes, however, I just didn't feel love toward people, from people in need to people that just got on my nerves. As I have grown in my relationship with God, I have learned that I can change my thoughts, but only God can change my heart. I can want to love people and think that I do love people, but really only a heart change from God can cause me to show sincere love. As I have noticed my lack of love and passion for people that God loves (all people!), I have prayed asking God for a love for his people. It really is amazing what praying in faith can do. I am in no way perfect or full of undying love for all people on earth, but I can definitely say that I have a greater love for God and for people than I did a year ago. This kind of feeds into my next word...

⁹ "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. -John 15:9-14
⁶ And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. -2 John 1:6
⁵ But if anyone obeys his word, love for God^[a^] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: ⁶ Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. -1 John 2:5-6


FOLLOW
¹ Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
² Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
³ they do no wrong
but follow his ways. -Psalm 119:1-3
¹⁸ As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ¹⁹ "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people." ²⁰ At once they left their nets and followed him. ²¹ Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, ²² and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. -Matthew 4:18-22
²³ Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me...." ⁵⁷ As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." ⁵⁸ Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." ⁵⁹ He said to another man, "Follow me." But he replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." ⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." ⁶¹ Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family." ⁶² Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." -Luke 9:23,57-62


Like one of the verses above says, we show that we love God by obeying what he commands. Another one of the verses says that love is walking in obedience to his commands. As my seeking and finding God causes me to love him more, I desire more to follow him. If I haven't gotten this across already, I love the way these four words and concepts (seek, find, love, follow) intertwine throughout the Bible. The desire to follow God stems from a love for him that grows as I seek and find him. I don't live the same way I did when I was little, "following the rules" because I wanted to avoid trouble. Now I live my life (the best that I can) according to God's Word because he is glorified when I obey him. I want to do a mini word study quickly here...The word "follow" is used 435 times in the NIV version of the Bible. I think I'll just discuss a few of them, but here we go...First, when Jesus calls his future disciples from their fishing (their source of income) and their families, they immediately follow him. That is pretty amazing. The men have no idea who Jesus is, but they just leave everything behind and follow him. However, we have the Bible and we have all the people before us that have given their lives to the advancement of the Gospel, but we still question Jesus when he tells us to follow him. How I pray that my first response to whenever I know Jesus is calling me to do one thing or another will become less like the response of our selfish society and more like the quick obedience of the fishermen. Later on, in Luke 9, Jesus tells his disciples that if they want to be his disciples, they must deny themselves, take up their crosses daily, and follow him. That's pretty intense. Think about it. People who are not followers of Christ (and oftentimes even we who are) are focused on themselves for the most part. Life for them is about doing what makes them happy. I'm not saying every non-Christian is an egotistical jerk, but what I mean is that people who are not followers of Christ would think Jesus' command to deny self and follow him is crazy. Self-denial is not normal. In today's society, no one wants to be inconvenienced, and most people even courteously don't inconvenience others. Self-denial is about laying aside my desires and taking on whatever God has for me, even when it's inconvenient, even when I'm "busy." Self-denial is about loving Jesus more than my reputation or earthly success.  Self-denial is literally denying self; it's forgetting what my sinful and selfish nature wants and following Christ wherever he leads. Also, at the end of Luke 9, Jesus has some harsh responses for men who claim they want to follow him but have some other (seemingly important) things to do. This passage is so convicting. Basically, Jesus says that when you follow him, he is all that matters to you. The advancement of the Gospel trumps all. Now, I'm certainly not saying that we should live our lives preaching on street corners; actually, in our society that's not very effective. Nevertheless, this passage in Luke means that if we want to follow Christ, our lives are all about advancing the Kingdom of God. That means that Jesus is the reason for everything we do; our lives in their entirety are evidence of our love for him. Following Jesus is clearly not as easy as our American churches often make it. Following Jesus is actually hard. Jesus even warns us of the difficulty of following him, but somehow our Gospel becomes more about Jesus making us happy than God's great love for us leading us to love and therefore obey him. If someone were to examine your daily life, would it be obvious to them that you love Jesus?




So, in case it hasn't hit home yet, seek God wholeheartedly, and you will find him. As you find God and come to know how great he is, your love for him will grow, and it will compel you to follow him in obedience. I pray that God will put an undying desire in your heart to know and love him. Thanks for reading this SUPER LONG post!

Let me tell you about the AMAZING things God did in Panama last week...

Well, I've been on mission in Panama for the past week, and God worked through us in amazing ways. We presented the drama (an allegorical presentation of the Gospel) in the slums, in schools, on busy street corners and shopping areas, in a Kuna village in the jungle, and in a beautiful touristy area. Every time after we did the drama, we would talk to the people who had watched it. God opened many hearts to our message, and so many people--adults and children alike--were saved! However, we learned as we did the drama in the beautiful and rich touristy place that people who think they have everything they need are not as receptive to the Gospel as people who have nothing. As Walker told us, Jesus plus nothing equals everything. When we get to a point where we realize that nothing will satisfy us but Him, we have everything we need.

Here's kind of a play-by-play of our trip...
We spent Monday and Tuesday doing our drama in various locations (street corners, schools, etc.). One of our sites was in slums that were so dangerous we had to have a police escort in. Walker told us that Awe Star had not even been allowed to go there for three years. We prayed as Walker and the translators went to ask for an escort, and God answered our prayers and gave us a police escort. Also, in the same place, it started raining during the drama. We prayed that God would stop the rain so that we wouldn't lose our crowd, and the rain stopped. We also went to a school for special needs children and had the opportunity to perform our drama for truly the "least of these." Praise God for the boldness He gave us these days as we shared our testimonies and the Gospel with people in several differenet areas of Panama City, and praise Him for preparing the way before us.

We left Wednesday morning for the jungle, riding the bus for a couple of hours then a canoe for a couple of hours. We finally arrived at the Kuna village that afternoon. The women church members and some children greeted us and helped us get moved into the hut where we would all (30+ of us) be staying. The girls stayed in tents inside the hut, and the guys slept under mosquito nets in the same hut.

While we were in the village, we were able to perform the drama two times. It was the first time the Kunas were able to hear it in their own language, and the chief told Walker that he had understood it for the first time. Though the chief did not accept the Gospel, we praise God for opening his heart to understand the message.

Also, we were able to love on the Kuna children and share the love of Christ with them as we played with them and talked with them throughout the two days we were there. After we had kind of a VBS with the children on Thursday, they continued singing all day the Spanish songs we taught them! Praise God that they are probably still singing about His joy and peace today!

Well, after not showering for a couple days, running around with the children, and doing our drama twice, we were quite sticky and smelly. We had the wonderful experience of going up the beautiful river to clean up a little bit on Thursday. It was so awesome to look at God's beautiful creation, to get in some cool water, and to smell good for at least thirty minutes!

After we cleaned up and had dinner on Thursday, we just played with the children until bedtime. A little girl named Liliber came up to me and wanted me to hold her. I ended up carrying her around for over an hour! She didn't talk to me for a while, but after I had talked to her and sung to her for a little while, she started asking me to get our picture taken. We also sang the VBS songs with some other little girls for a long time. These girls were so precious!

Not only did God do these amazing things while we were in the village, He also did something awesome as we left. The Kunas were worried about us being in their village because when Christians had previously come, floods came soon after, and the Kunas blamed it on the Christians. However, as we left the village in the canoe, God placed a rainbow in front of us. It was so beautiful! We could even see both ends of it! This was just another reminder to me that God is sovereign and that He is with us.

Well, when we got back to civilization, we showered and got ready to do some shopping. We got to shop in a market that had a lot of the stuff we saw in the village, and we also got to go to a HUGE mall and have some great food and time to relax. I think this was a really great time to recharge a little bit and to get ready for Saturday.

Saturday was a big day. You see, Walker and Kristin turned Saturday over to us. Yes, a bunch of 14-18-year-olds led a day of Jesus ministry in Panama (with quite a bit of assistance from our wonderful translators and bus driver). But really, we were in charge of pretty much everything but the locations of our drama, transportation, and overall safety. This opportunity to be student led really taught us that we truly can be adults (as Walker taught us all week) and do ministry ourselves. It also taught us the importance of being a leader, but also the importance of being a follower--submitting to authority, as Walker had taught us the night before. God really empowered us to lead and to follow on Saturday. We were able to do the drama five times, which was exhausting, but entirely worth it. God orchestrated the weather in our favor; when it rained really hard, our drama site was covered, and the rain cooled us off nicely. We were able to bless many children who followed us from site to site---some of them saw us three times! Also, the poorest of the poor in Panama saw and heard the Gospel, and numerous people accepted Christ. At our first site, my responsibility on my ministry team was to "distract," to pull any kids aside so my team could talk to the adults. Well, God constantly reminds me that His plan is His plan, because I ended up sharing with the kids I pulled aside, and Ryan (our team pray-er) became the distractor for me after he and Mary Amanda were finished sharing with the adults. I was able to lead four young girls to Christ at that site. This experience was yet another reminder that God is sovereign, that he had gone before us, putting those four girls by the adults my team would talk to, and putting my ministry team together as he did.

God affirmed for me through this trip that He is bigger than any language barrier, any timidity, any danger, anything. He can work through anyone who is willing. One thing that is a struggle for me is leading people to Christ who I will not be able to follow up with myself. Last week, God really showed me that He is bigger than me, that He has the power and control to take care of discipleship. We provided the names of people who were saved to locals who will follow up with those people. God taught me that I have done the work, and now I can just pray for those people and trust that he will continue and finish what he has started in them. It amazes me that God brings people to himself through American teenagers who perform a simple drama, approach Panamanian children and adults, and read the Gospel in Spanish off of a card. I think that the fact that he draws people to himself in this way shows how powerful he is.

What an amazing week we had in Panama! Obviously, God moved in power---in us and through us. I believe that all of our lives have been changed in some way, and the lives of numerous Panamanians have been changed as well. I covered a good number of stories in this post, but there are, of course, many more. Please ask me or anyone else who went to tell you more about our experiences in Panama!

Also, as I wrap up this post, I just want to say that not only did we learn and grow a lot through ministry, we also learned a ton from Walker's teachings. He taught us from God's Word multiple times daily, and these times were so beneficial, even life-changing for all of us. We learned how to live as Godly adults, and how to treat each other as men and women of God. We learned what it means to be like Jesus, to get our hands dirty in ministry. It's really hard to sum up everything I learned here, but seriously, ask me about what I learned, and I would LOVE to tell you more!

The Greatest Treason

     In Murder in the Cathedral, a play by T.S. Eliot that we read in AP English, Thomas Becket, an archbishop in the church in Canterbury, is martyred because he refuses to compromise over a disagreement with the King of England. At the beginning of the play, Thomas faces four temptations. The first temptations concern earthly things, and Thomas easily dismisses them. However, the fourth temptation comes as a surprise. The fourth tempter tempts Thomas with the glory of martyrdom. He tempts Thomas to choose martyrdom because of the glory he could receive rather than the glory God could receive from his death. Thomas says, "The last temptation is the greatest treason: / To do the right deed for the wrong reason."

     Maybe I'm not facing martyrdom at the moment, but this fourth tempter is certainly applicable to my life. One of the easiest temptations to fall into is doing the right things for the wrong reason. As a Christian, I am called to serve because of my love for Christ, not to make myself look good or gain earthly rewards. However, sometimes it is easy to get into a routine of service and forget why I serve. Wade Morris said something as we studied Colossians in Bible study that really stuck with me, "Activity is no substitute for spirituality." This means that going to church, going on mission trips, doing service projects, etc. does not make someone a "good Christian." The motivation behind the action matters as much as the action itself. It's like in 1 Corinthians 13 when Paul says, "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." Because the love of God compels us to love and serve other people, we should focus more on what God did for us than what we do for God. When the love of God and the cross of Christ is our central focus, we truly want to obey him. We follow and serve out of love, not out of obligation. For me, this is not always easy. I have to remember why I do what I do. I have to check my motives often to make sure that they are not out of place. When the Holy Spirit convicts me that I have selfish motives, I pray and ask God to transform my heart. I can't fix my motives myself. I've tried. It doesn't work. Only God can change my heart. I praise God for reminding me (through AP English class!) of how important it is to serve with motivations that are pleasing to Him. I know that I don't want to fall into a lifestyle of the greatest treason, doing the right deed for the wrong reason. I don't want to realize at the end of my life that everything I have done has brought glory to me rather than to God.